With a First from Cambridge and the possibility of working for the Foreign Office, the author decided instead to apply to be an apprentice diesel-fitter with London Transport. He was rejected and so turned to a life in politics. This title offers an account of a young life already well lived.
'He's 100% political herpes. Back in six months whatever you do. Or three days, like last time.' Camilla Long on Nigel Farage 'You're as ugly as a salad.' Bulgarian insult 'I'm going to beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.' Muhammed Ali There's no pleasure like a perfectly-turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. Here are the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Donald Trump, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Nigel Farage, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form. This collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks. Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.
Walking in the Pyrenees one spring morning the author stumbled upon a magnificent ruined mansion standing on edge of a line of huge cliffs. This title chronicles the original discovery, the attempts to discover its history, and then the years trying to bring it back to life in the face of scepticism from family, friends and Spanish neighbours.
Heard the one about the Spanish Ambassador who arrived in the scorching Saharan desert fully suited and with a mysteriously enormous suitcase? Or the horse they gave Prime Minister John Major in Turkmenistan - which hapless embassy officials had to rescue from the clutches of the Moscow railway? This title deals with these questions.
A modern classic of travel and adventure. INCA KOLA is the funny, absorbing account of Matthew Parris's fourth trip to Peru, on a bizarre holiday which takes him among bandits, prostitutes, peasants and riots. He and his three companions seem to head into trouble, not away from it, and he describes the troubles, curiosities and wonders they meet with the spell-binding fascination of a traveller relating adventures over the campfire. 'A backpacker's classic: atmospheric, touching, instructive and compulsively readable' THE TIMES
Drawn from the National Archives and from Freedom of Information requests these dispatches make up another volume of entertaining and illuminating stories from the diplomatic bag
Matthew Parris, presenter of Great Lives on BBC Radio 4, explores the surprising connection between trauma and greatness through vivid case histories.
Four Centuries of Calumny, Smear, and Innuendo
In this highly revealing, entertaining and salutary expedition into the moral swamps of British politics, award-winning columnist and broadcaster Matthew Parris presents the low side of high office.
A frank autobiography by "The Times" columnist and ex-politician Matthew Parris. His childhood was spent on a variety of different countries as his engineer father moved jobs; Rhodesia, Cyprus, the Middle East and Jamaica. After Cambridge and Yale, he joined the Conservative central office at roughly the same time (aged 26) he discovered he was gay. He worked for Michael Dobbs, Chris Patten, and Mrs Thatcher (who famously fired him), before entering parliament himself. Part participant, part bystander, Matthew Parris describes what it was like to be so close to the centre and remain an outsider.
When leaving a foreign posting, Britain's ambassadors were encouraged to write a valedictory despatch until the practice was abolished in 2006. This title includes reports from foreign posts that are indiscreet and funny.
