Stephen Clarke Livres

NEW UPDATED EDITION Was the Battle of Hastings a French victory? Non! William the Conqueror was Norman and hated the French. Were the Brits really responsible for the death of Joan of Arc? Non! The French sentenced her to death for wearing trousers. Did the French write "God Save the Queen"? Non! But that's what they claim. Ten centuries' worth of French historical 'facts' bite the dust as Stephen Clarke looks at what has really been going on since 1066 ... Featuring new annoyances - both historical and recent - inflicted on the French, including Napoleon's "banned" chamber pot, Louis XIV's painful operation, Anglo-French jibes during the 2012 London Olympics, French niggles about William and Kate's royal wedding, and much more ...

Have You Ever Walked Into A Half-Empty Restaurant In France, Only To Be Told That It S Complet? Attempted To Say Merci Beaucoup And Accidentally Complimented Someone On Their Cute Backside? Been Taken To What You Ve Been Assured Is The Perfect House Deep In The Countryside, Only To Find There S No Electricity Or Running Water? If The Answer To Any Of The Above Is Oui , Talk To The Snail Is The Book For You.Find Out How To Get Served In A Restaurant; Learn To Be Exquisitely Polite And Brutally Rude At The Same Time; Discover The Language Of Love, Sex And Suppositories (Not Necessarily In That Order). It S All Here In This Funny, Informative, Seriously Useful Guide On How To Get What You Really Want From The French.With Advice On Essential Phrases And Bons Mots To Cover All Eventualities, And Illustrated With Witty Real-Life Anecdotes, Talk To The Snail Is A Book That No Self-Respecting Francophile Or Francophobe - Can Afford To Be Without.

Les tribulations d'un jeune anglais au pays de la lingerie féminine, des suppositoires et des grèves - surprises... Nom : Paul West. Age : 27 ans. Costume : Paul Smith. Langue française : niveau très moyen. Fonction : jeune cadre dynamique promis à un grand avenir. Occupation : déjouer les pièges potentiellement désastreux du quotidien français. Ambition : qu'un jour un garçon de café vienne le servir quand il le hèle. Hobby : lingerie féminine. Signe particulier : Paul West serait le fruit d'un croisement génétique entre Hugh Grant et David Beckam. Histoire d'un succès : Stephen Clarke, journaliste installé en France depuis dix ans, écrit un petit " guide de survie " à l'usage de ses compatriotes en exil. Il imprime l'ouvrage à deux cents exemplaires, le met en vente sur son site Internet et le livre lui-même à domicile. Le bouche à oreille faisant son œuvre, le texte est remarqué par quelques libraires et journalistes, et s'écoule à plusieurs milliers d'exemplaires à Paris avant qu'un éditeur anglais en acquière les droits. Le livre devient un best-seller au Royaume-Uni. Il doit aujourd'hui paraître dans seize pays. Stephen Clarke travaille à la suite des aventures de Paul West.

Que faire quand le Brexit est à l'horizon... To be or not to be un Européen ? Et devons-nous nous réjouir que la Perfide Albion veuille s'extraire de l'Europe ? Telles sont les interrogations au cœur de la nouvelle comédie de Stephen Clarke, auteur du bestseller mondial God save la France.La presse britannique raconte que les billets de banque en euros rendent les hommes impuissants. Que Bruxelles veut renommer le sud-est de l'Angleterre la "zone trans-Manche" et redéfinir le kilt écossais comme une jupe féminine. Pire encore, les journalistes anglais prétendent que les saucisses anglaises et les chips au bacon seraient bientôt interdites par l'administration européenne.Face à toutes ces folles rumeurs, Stephen Clarke envoie son héros, l'Anglais gaffeur Paul West, à Bruxelles pour essayer de rétablir la vérité.Installé dans la capitale belge, Paul découvre les vraies absurdités de ce microcosme de fonctionnaires privilégiés, tout en travaillant pour une députée européenne française qui, soi-disant, veut convaincre les Anglais de rester dans l'Europe.Multipliant les maladresses linguistiques et diplomatiques, Paul s'interroge : les Anglais sont-ils capables de devenir d'authentiques Européens ? Ou vaut-il mieux pour tout le monde que les Britanniques restent retranchés sur leurs petites îles ?

D'yan Forest has always done things her way - or her ways, because she's lived a dozen different lives. She's been a desperate Boston housewife, a New York night-club singer and a Paris swinger. She's been the only Jewish girl in a Christian choir and the female pianist in a transvestite cabaret. She had dayjobs teaching basketball, piano and sex education. She dated Paris's second-ever female bus driver, a transsexual rock guitarist and a defrocked nun.She also managed to get German friends to visit Nazi concentration camps, on her personal quest to understand why her European relatives were massacred.At 86, D'yan is still a working stand-up comedian and musician, but she's much, much more than that, as this hilarious but heartfelt memoir reveals... Written by D'yan Forest with Stephen Clarke, bestselling British author of books like 1,000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde, and co-writer of D'yan's latest stage show, Swingin' on the Seine.

Hayden Keyes is an expert on knights and the tales of King Arthur, yet he lacks practical experience in the adventurous aspects of these legends. His journey hints at the possibility of exploring these fantastical elements, such as jousting, wearing armor, and embarking on epic quests with a dimension-traveling griffin. The story promises a blend of knowledge and adventure as Hayden navigates the gap between his scholarly understanding and the thrilling realities of knightly life.

Legend has it that, in a few busy weeks in July 1789, a despotic king, his freeloading wife, and a horde of over-privileged aristocrats, were displaced and then humanely dispatched. In the ensuing years, we are told, France was heroically transformed into an idyll of Libert�, Egalit� and Fraternit�. In fact, as Stephen Clarke argues in his informative and eye-opening account of the French Revolution, almost all of this is completely untrue. In 1789 almost no one wanted to oust King Louis XVI, let alone guillotine him. While the Bastille was being stormed by out-of-control Parisians, the true democrats were at work in Versailles creating a British-style constitutional monarchy. The founding of the Republic in 1792 unleashed a reign of terror that caused about 300,000 violent deaths. And people hailed today as revolutionary heroes were dangerous opportunists, whose espousal of Libert�, Egalit� and Fraternit� did not stop them massacring political opponents and guillotining women for demanding equal rights. Going back to original French sources, Stephen Clarke has uncovered the little-known and rarely told story of what was really happening in revolutionary France, as well as what went so tragically and bloodily wrong.

In this exciting sequel, Hayden Keyes continues his adventurous journey alongside the Knights, facing new challenges and uncovering deeper mysteries. As the stakes rise, Hayden must navigate complex relationships and confront formidable foes. The story promises to deliver action, camaraderie, and growth, as Hayden evolves into a true leader. Fans of the first installment will be captivated by the twists and developments that await in this thrilling continuation of his quest.

"Who needs a gym when you have Scotland? We all have goals, ambitions and dreams, but How do you overcome the obstacles you find in the way? How do you kick your negativity to the kerb? How do you become who you want to be? BY STICKING TO THE DAMN PLAN. With hundreds of videos, thousands of followers and millions of views, The Kilted Coaches, Stephen Clarke and Rab Shields, are no strangers to living their lives in high definition. But now they reveal how to become HD in every aspect of your life: bigger, louder, more colourful than ever, and unmistakeably you. In a characteristically Scottish blend of advice and banter, The Kilted Coaches channel their years of experience as life coaches and weight loss experts into bite-sized nuggets of advice designed to build confidence, positivity and ultimately that elusive future self. Always down to earth (sometimes very literally), they demonstrate that whoever you are, wherever you are, you can win each day. In fact, we're all just folk with our own lives and commitments, and every step towards health and happiness is a success. So, stick to the plan and win your life - even if you don't have a kilt (but it helps)"--Publisher's description.

The entertaining biography of Edward VII and his playboy lifestyle, by the author of A Year in the Merde Despite fierce opposition from his mother, Queen Victoria, Edward VII was always passionately in love with France. He had affairs with the most famous Parisian actresses, courtesans, and can-can dancers. He spoke French more elegantly than English. He was the first ever guest to climb the Eiffel Tower with Gustave Eiffel, in defiance of an official English ban on his visit. He turned his French seduction skills into the diplomatic prowess that sealed the Entente Cordiale. A quintessentially English king? Pas du tout! Stephen Clarke argues that as "Dirty Bertie," Edward learned all the essentials in life from the French.

Featuring a blend of sharp humor and an engaging narrative, this book captivates with its witty one-liners and compelling storyline. The author, Ian Moore, known for his work "Death & Croissants," delivers a tale that promises both laughter and intrigue, making it a delightful read for those who appreciate clever writing and entertaining plots.

Published in the 200th Anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo a witty look at how the French still think they won, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde.

Paris is one of the most visited cities in the world. This title reveals the information Parisians know about their city - but don't want to tell you.

Englishman Paul West has just received an offer he can't refuse: two weeks in the sun, all expenses paid, with a beautiful blonde called Gloria Monday. M, as Gloria likes to be known, is down south to report on caviar trafficking but it soon becomes obvious that she's interested in something a lot more fishy than caviar.

Englishman Paul West is living the Parisian dream, and doing his best not to annoy the French. But recently things have been going trés wrong:He's stuck in an apartment so small that he has to cut his baguettes in two to fit them in the kitchen.His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike - and it could be all his fault.His Parisian business partner is determined to close their tea-room. And thinks that sexually harrassing his female employees is a basic human right.And Paul's gorgeous ex-girlfriend seems to be stalking him.Threatened with eviction, unemployment and bankrupcy, Paul realises that his personal merde factor is about to hit the fan...

What if teleportation was really possible? Englishman Richie Fisher is about to find out ...Richie and his wife Clara have won a weekend in New York in a newspaper competition. While Clara is off blowing their spending money, Richie wanders aimlessly, chewing on a veggie-burger, ending up in a gift-shop where he finds himself standing in front of an instant transporter machine. It looks nothing like the open-plan teleporter on Captain Kirk's Starship Enterprise; in fact, it seems more like a glorified microwave oven. Richie places his burger inside, hits the return key on the linked-up computer - and the burger disappears. But if he can teleport a half-eaten veggie-burger, what else could you do with the machine?For criminals, the possibilities are endless. Who could catch you if you beamed drugs into nostrils a hundred miles away? And how much would illegal immigrants pay to be teleported into the rich host country of their choice? Richie buys a teleporter and takes it back to England, where the chaos begins ...

Paul West is in deep financial merde. His only way out of debt is to accept a decidedly dodgy job that involves him touring America in a Mini, while pretending to be typically British.Also in the car is Paul s French girlfriend, Alexa, and his American

One Brit in Brussels. Two French Women. And a whole lot of merde. The hilarious new novel from Stephen Clarke, bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and A Thousand Years of Annoying the French. Does Brussels really want to outlaw bingo, bagpipes and smoky bacon crisps? Are eurocrats trying to rename the English Channel? And can the ink in euro notes really make men impotent? No. Well, not exactly. But it is true that the EU is a seriously flawed institution. And it's about to become even more so as Englishman Paul West goes to Brussels to work for a French MEP, and gets an insider's view of what really goes on in the massive madhouse that is the EU Parliament. As Britain prepares to vote whether it stays in or exits the EU, Paul gets the chance to influence the result of the referendum. He has to decide: better the devil you know? Or bring on the Brexit? It's a decision that could cost him a lot more than his euro paypacket . . .

The Cradle of Loving-Kindness addresses how to transform destructive emotions, befriend our minds, increase happiness, and wake up to our life. Joining mindfulness and loving-kindness, we learn to hold destructive emotions and mind states and transform them into constructive emotions and wakeful states. When we can do this, we develop new and healthier relationships to the mind and it's content, each other, and our world.

For legal reasons, this novel does not mention J*mes B*nd. Which is a shame, because it is a comedy spy story based on the idea that I*n Fl*ming's famously macho secret agent might have been inspired by a woman ...A comedy spy spoof set in Occupied France in 1944, by the bestselling author of A Year in the Merde, 1000 Years of Annoying the French and How the French Won Waterloo (or Think They Did).It is April 1944, and chic armchair naval officer Ian Lemming is accidentally beached in Nazi-occupied Normandy. With no access to a razor or clean underwear, and deprived of his cigarettes, Lemming just wants to go home. But he is stranded with a young, though hugely experienced, female agent, who is on a perilous mission to unmask traitors in a French Resistance network. So, as she bullies him across France, Lemming receives a painful crash course in spycraft, and starts to fantasize about a fictional agent - male of course - who would operate only in the most luxurious conditions, and lord it over totally subservient women. A fictional spy is born ...

150 tys. sprzedanych książek Stephena Clarke’a w Polsce!nStephen Clarke tym razem bezczelnie rozprawia się z mitem Napoleona.nPełne uszczypliwego angielskiego humoru spojrzenie na kult Napoleona. Mnóstwo tu barwnych anegdot, pozwalających poznać nastroje epoki, ekstrawaganckich przykładów manipulowania historią, zarówno przez zwycięzców, jaki przegranych, sensacyjnych lub zabawnych momentów, groteskowych portretów postaci historycznych.

War die Guilliotine eine französische Idee? Haben die Franzosen in Wirklichkeit selbst Schuld am Tode Jeanne d’Arcs? Und das Wichtigste: Wer hat denn nun wirklich die Fritten erfunden? Wenn der überzeugte Engländer und Wahlfranzose Stephen Clarke sich die Errungenschaften und Heldenmythen der französischen Geschichte vorknöpft, bleibt von der Grande Nation nicht mehr viel übrig – außer einer ganzen Menge liebevoller Gemeinheiten. Ein geniales Buch, das Völkerverständigung klein und Spaß an historischen Sticheleien groß schreibt!

Richie und seine Frau sind zum Shoppen nach Manhattan geflogen und entdecken in einem obskuren Laden einen Teleporter, mit dem blitzschnell Geschenke an die glücklichen Empfänger gebeamt werden. Star-Trek-Fan Richie kauf das teure Gerät und löst damit in seiner englischen Heimat ein Chaos aus.

Der Engländer Paul West wird nach Brüssel gerufen: Seine launische ehemalige Geliebte, Élodie, arbeitet für die EU. Sie braucht seine Hilfe – angeblich soll er verhindern, dass Großbritannien sich für den Brexit entscheidet. Paul weiß zwar nicht so recht, wie er zur EU steht, aber die Stelle ist gut bezahlt, und er braucht das Geld. Also nimmt er den Job begeistert an, doch schnell wird klar, dass Élodie etwas verheimlicht. Verfolgt sie womöglich ganz andere Ziele? Gemeinsam mit seiner klugen und attraktiven Kollegin Manon versucht Paul herauszufinden, welche Rolle er und sein Land wirklich in Brüssel spielen ...

Pierwsza książka Stephena Clarke’a, Merde! Rok w Paryżu, błyskawicznie stała się bestsellerem na całym świecie, również w Polsce osiągając ogromny sukces. Teraz do rąk polskich czytelników trafia druga część przygód Brytyjczyka we Francji. Jaka jest najlepsza metoda, by przestraszyć żandarma? Dlaczego Francuzi wpisują choroby przenoszone drogą płciową do swoich CV? Dlaczego na publicznych plażach nudystów nie istnieją znaki ostrzegawcze przed kłopotami, na jakie narażony jest plażowicz? I jak poradzić sobie z plagą cukinii? Na te i inne pytania odpowiedzi szuka Paul West, wciąż zmagający się z fundamentalnymi problemami, na jakie skazany jest cudzoziemiec w obcym kraju. Książka Stephena Clarke'a to niezwykle zabawna powieść przygodowa, a zarazem doskonały przewodnik po współczesnej Francji. Tym razem Paul postanawia rozkręcić w Paryżu własny biznes. W wolnych chwilach poszukuje dla siebie idealnej francuskiej mademoiselle. Czy znajdzie wymarzoną l’amour éternel, czy też jego starania okażą się... merde warte?

Как бокал охлажденного шампанского, Париж всегда попадает в цель. В архитектуре, в любви, в гастрономии... В чем же секрет такой репутации - города роскоши, легкомыслия и культуры. Экскурсию по парижу, его тайнам, обыкновениям, казусам и контрастам ведет знаменитый британский писатель Стефан Кларк.