An abbreviated life : a memoir

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A beautiful, startling, and candid memoir about growing up without boundaries, in which Ariel Leve recalls her turbulent childhood as the only child of an unstable poet mother and a largely absent father. She explores the consequences of a psychologically harrowing upbringing as she seeks refuge from the past and recovers what was lost. Growing up in Manhattan, Leve describes her eccentric mother as “a poet, an artist, a self-appointed troublemaker and attention seeker.” She learned to parent herself, navigating her mother’s uncontrolled rages followed by denial and bursts of affection. In this topsy-turvy world of conditional love, Leve captures the chaos and lasting impact of her childhood, revealing how her coping mechanisms later incapacitated her as an adult. Material comforts were present, but emotional safety was scarce, except during summer visits to her father’s home in Southeast Asia—an escape that ended when he attempted to gain custody. Following the death of a loving caretaker, a series of replacements raised Leve, leading to intense attachment and loss. Decades later, after moving across the world, she began to emancipate herself from her past. In a relationship with a man who has children, caring for them brings clarity about what was missing in her life. Through her haunting story, Leve seeks to understand the effects of chronic psychological maltreatment on a child's developing brain and to build an unabbrevia