Doing Bad Science to Get Tenure, Fame and Riches: A Career Advancement Guide on This Exciting New "scientific Method"

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This here book is a RANT about bad science and the scientific method in the 21st Century.... How to use bad science to get ahead! How to manipulate facts and make erroneous arguments that will MAKE YOU FAMOUS! Get Government Grants! Get that corporate promotion! Get tenure! Tricks to make other scientists look stupid, and things you can say to them, just to be mean! Become the dominant scientist, allowing you to push other scientists around, unless they are bigger and stronger than you! Or know judo. Plus, you'll garner riches! Get a fantastic full-body bronze tan! I'm talking NO TAN LINES BABY! BUY that Mediterranean villa! We will reside in the REAL WORLD of bad science, where professors and corporate researchers foist shitty little acts on each other to advance their own pathetic careers, to get that little crap-ass promotion that they so desperately deserve in their warped little minds, and will MAKE their pitiable career somewhat more tenable. And how you, dear reader, can LEARN these techniques of accomplishing this petty little shit so YOU TOO can advance your career and proudly have your best friends call you a little weasel turd. Because you DESERVE IT. But you won't care because you'll HAVE that promotion! You've GOT TENURE. The corporate VP loves you! Best paper award! You can spit on old friends, and they will cherish it!