Heroic Disgrace: Order Out of Chaos. Hope Out of Fear. -- A Worship Hero Story

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I was raised as a hero and groomed to be a worshiper. But a lot went wrong along the way. A debilitating mental disorder is a caustic pill for an arrogant man to swallow... The All-American 1980s and 1990s I lived through greatly influenced my early understanding and practice of heroism and worship. Sadly, by the mid-2000s, an undiagnosed mental disability began torturing my mind. Unbalance shattered me to the point I could not be either the hero or the worshiper I had once believed I was supposed to be. My mind and my heart were broken. I was living in disgrace. Eventually, my determination to regain my health helped me begin to untangle what I grew up understanding about heroes and worshipers. Ultimately, Jesus showed me--a professional church music leader of twenty-plus years--how to begin to pursue Him and reflect him as a habit, to become a heroic worshiper. Out of my mental chaos and fear, the Great Hero, Jesus Christ, led me to order and hope. Today, I know for certain, because Jesus lives in me, I can "be heroic as He is heroic." I'm amazed. The process of understanding heroic worship has been a lifetime in the making. The results will be eternal.